Camping in the Negev

A few weeks ago the volunteers went camping in the Negev with one of the more experienced guides on the Moshav.  It was a beautiful experience but also eye-opening.  On our way we stopped in Hebron to see the tombs of the patriarchs.  While driving our guide pointed out lines on the road that indicate which side Israelis or Palestinians are permitted to drive on.  Driving on the wrong side will get you a year-long stay in prison, at best.  The loneliness and desolation of the city struck a poignant chord in all of us.  In the past, we were told, there were open air markets and people walking everywhere but there was so much violence in the markets that vendors are no longer allowed on the streets, so the whole city seems abandoned.

If you want to visit the tombs you are obliged to state your country of origin, no one who is Muslim is allowed to enter through the Israeli side, and no one who is Jewish is allowed to enter through the Palestinian side.  We were told by our guide that the conflict in Hebron reached its tipping point in 1929.  A violent massacre caused the entire Jewish population of Hebron to leave and for the first time in thousands of years there were no Jews in Hebron.  Their children would return, more radical than ever, years later at the founding of the Jewish State in 1948.

Later when we reached our campsite, we stargazed with our weathered war veteran turned tour guide and our group of volunteers, and watched in awe as a shooting star soared across the desert sky and the moon rose from behind mount Cana’im.  I think I’ll take it as a sign that I’ve seen more shooting stars since I’ve been in Israel than I have in my entire life before.  In the morning we climbed Mount Cana’im and watched the sun rise.  That afternoon, our last afternoon, we climbed to Masada, where Jewish Civilization in the Land ended violently, but not without hope, and watched fighter jets tip their wings in reverence as they passed over.   And finally after two days of hiking and learning, we returned home, to our little Moshav in the Judean Hills.

 

Something Better

Over the years I’ve started to feel like a brilliant masterpiece painted over in grey.  I knew God had a purpose for me and a plan for my life but I couldn’t see it.  I needed to distance myself from the life I had constructed for myself in my own might so that I could see God’s face and understand the purpose that He has for me.  I started to really think about what I wanted out of my life.  There were things I’d always wanted to do but never felt that I could.

I’ve always had this theory that who we are as children is who we were always meant to be.  The problem is that as we travel through life we’re bombarded by so many different influences that shape us in ways that sometimes aren’t so good.  Soon we feel so beaten down and discouraged that if we don’t take the chance to look up and seek God and pursue the desires He’s put inside us we will never accomplish anything and our lives will be full of regret.  This is why I just couldn’t settle into a nice office job with good benefits.  Actually, the thought of doing that makes me want to scream.  My soul would have been too restless.

The truth is that each of us has a purpose that matches the dreams and desires in our hearts.  To deviate from our dreams leads to despair and regret.  I was sad to find then, one day in March just two months before my college graduation, that I had forgotten my dreams and if you asked me what the desires of my heart were I wouldn’t have been able to tell you.  I decided to look for something better.  So, I made a list.  All the things I loved all of my life and all of the things I always wanted to do or experience.   This helped me put things into perspective.

I read the list like I was reading a file on someone else’s life and in this way I became reacquainted with who I really was.   I learned that I love animals, living without them for so many years made me forget that my heart swells with happiness anytime I see a dog running to the door to greet me, or when a cat curls up right in the center of my lap and purrs.  I discovered that despite my somewhat resentful attitude toward university orchestra and mandated violin lessons I really am still moved beyond words by Beethoven’s 5^th Symphony, Mozart’s Requiem Mass, and Chopin’s Nocturnes, just don’t ask me to play my violin.

Then I remembered something that had been floating around in the back of my mind since I was a kid.  Israel.  When I thought of Israel I felt peace.  That’s how I decided to volunteer for six months on a Moshav ten miles west of Jerusalem.  I quit my internship, bought my flight ticket with my graduation money, resigned from my part-time job, and here I am now, almost one week into what’s sure to be an amazing, wonderful, soul-restoring adventure.  You see, everything that I have ever done in my life has led me to this exact moment.  Knowing that, I find it hard to be anxious.

I would like to encourage whoever reads this to search your heart for your dream and once you find it to pursue it boldly and courageously, with confidence and no fear.  It is time to let God restore the brilliant masterpiece he created when he made each of us.  This is sure to be my most breathtaking adventure yet, and I hope that you will join me.

Love always,

Lissie